What the butterfly knew

There’s a classic story about a young spiritual seeker who was excited to advance to the next level of his training. He eagerly approached his mentor, asking when he would be ready for the next initiation. The mentor smiled but said very little.

The seeker returned another day to ask again, only to find a different student being called into the next initiation by the same mentor.  But instead of celebrating, the older initiate was pleading not to go.

The seeker was confused. Why would this initiate not want to advance? Why would he fear what he himself so desperately wanted? He followed the other initiate out of the building and asked him why he refused to go, telling him that all he wanted was to become a great master.

The older initiate shared that with each initiation, he was asked to let go of something in his life. With the first, he left behind his family and his inheritance, learning to place the inner world above the outer world. With the second, he let go of his wife and children, learning the path of detachment and allowing others to pursue their own path. With the third, he found he had health issues that resulted from anger and rage from his childhood. With each initiation, he was asked to surrender in a greater way, and he wasn’t ready to tackle another layer.

The seeker stood with his mouth wide open, asking the older initiate why he bothered to continue at all. The initiate answered, “Because with each initiation, and in losing all of those things, I found something greater. I found myself.”

People come to spiritual awakening in many ways. Some find themselves in it because they are looking for greater truth. Some are brought to it through loss, heartbreak, or tragedy. But all of us who walk this path eventually discover that awakening asks something of us. We are asked to let the old self die. We are asked to take off our masks. We are asked to let go of our attachments. We are asked to lay down our fears.

I met with a client who is finding herself in the middle of her awakening right now. I listened as she looked at her life, sorting what is there by choice and what is there by conditioning, with so much love and thoughtfulness. Hard choices. And so much compassion for the choices.

I see so many light leaders, seasoned initiates, being called into deeper surrender around what needs to be released. I see so many of them making choices from humility and grace. They understand that their challenges are not obstacles or punishments, but invitations into deeper healing, responsibility, and wholeness. I honor them for their continued growth and the example they set, showing that the work never really ends. There are more mountains to climb even when you’ve been in the work for a long time.

Last July, in the summer’s heat, I opened the service door to my garage and found a monarch butterfly hanging from the back of the door. I told her gently she couldn’t stay in the garage; she needed to be out in nature. I opened the door for her. She released herself from the inside of the door and then flew between my legs and out the door. She fluttered in front of me for a moment before she flew off. Another layer, and that’s the work.

Supporting people through awakening has taught me that surrender is rarely graceful while we are inside it. It can look like grief, uncertainty, endings, identity shifts, or realizing we can no longer abandon ourselves in the ways we once did. So many people think something has gone wrong when their old life no longer fits. But often, that discomfort is not failure. It is initiation.

Awakening asks us to release what is no longer aligned so something more honest can emerge. And while that process can feel painful, there is also something sacred in witnessing a soul return to itself.